If I’m doing my maths correctly, we’re approaching the second Valentine’s Day since Floom’s conception… Holy moley! Two years of opportunities to impress your loved one with a Valentine’s bouquet that actually shows love and thought and care and consideration. Because if FOTW has taught us anything over those three years it’s that pretty much all flowers, famous and less so, are steeped in symbolism. And no one wants to have to work out the symbolism of a last-ditch, limp and lazy supermarket/petrol station posy, do they?

Anyway, two years in and we finally feel ready to feature one of those aforementioned famous flowers… That’s right: it’s red rose time! We used to be sniffy about hawking bouquets of roses for valentine’s delivery, because if done badly they really can be the floral equivalent of some flash Larry pulling up in a red sports car like his masculinity depended on it. Really though, there’s no getting around the fact that a bouquet of roses can be bloody beautiful (there’s a reason they became so popular in the first place, I guess). And now we’ve shaken off the surface associations that come with Valentine roses, we’re ready to delve a little deeper into those luscious, perky petals for some classic, tenuous FOTW-symbolism!

Want to impress your valentine with your knowledge of political machinations in fifteenth century England? Show your undying allegiance to Henry IV and the House of Lancaster, by adopting their emblem, the red rose, as your show of love! Want your loved one to say, “I do (share your right-on social democratic outlook on life, thank you for proposing to me with these symbols of anti-authoritarian movements in post-World War II Europe!)”? Then make sure you shower your equal partner-to-be in red roses this Valentine’s Day! Want to prematurely pay your respects to Saint George, who, as well as being celebrated for dragon-killing in England is celebrated in Catalonia on lover’s day (April 23rd FYI)? Then exchange traditional bouquets of blood-red roses with your lover this Valentine’s Day! Want to low-key let your better half know that no matter how much you love her, you will always reserve a special place in your heart for the England Rugby Union team? Order a bunch of red roses for Valentine’s Day delivery and think of the scarlet flower that adorns the chests of those muscular uber-men as you hand them over!

Or you could disregard all that because, as we often say in FOTW, really these stems are so inherently bursting with the most natural beauty: instinctively alluring and full of intricate depth and vibrant complexities… Just like your valentine, right?

Red Rose

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